What is Stay-at-Home Mom Depression? Know How can Friends & Family Support in Overcoming

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Mave
Clinical Psychologist
28 Aug 202414 min read
old aged mom watching news on tv - stay at home mom

Motherhood is the most joyful and precious journey in a woman's life, yet it comes with its own set of challenges. Stay-at-home depression is one among them. Wondering Can being a stay-at-home mom cause depression? Yes! According to one of the most recent studies, which compared 200 working parents and 200 stay-at-home moms, non-working moms were 2.43 times more likely to suffer from depression than working moms.  

This study shows how being at home affects mental well-being. Staying at home allows moms to be deeply involved in their children's lives, especially as they grow and learn. However, spending all day and night with only children can sometimes make them feel lonely as they miss adult company.

This can lead to feeling tired and like their own needs aren't being taken care of. Many stay-at-home moms feel this way, and it is important to talk about these feelings openly instead of keeping them inside.

What is Stay-at-Home Mom Depression?

Do you have kids in your home? Then you need to understand some important things about stay-at-home mom (SAMH) depression. From recent studies, it has been found that stay-at-home moms often experience depression which affects their SAHM mental health

Do you know what that means? Well, Stay-at-home mom depression isn't an official diagnosis. Instead, it is a way to describe how many stay-at-home moms may experience a depressive disorder, such as major depressive disorder (MDD), due to common challenges associated with parenting at home. 

What are the Signs of Stay-at-Home Mom Depression?

It is now time to look at stay-at-home mom depression symptoms. Understanding this will help you to identify the issue without any delay.

  1. Anxiety and Worry: Feeling more worried, restless, or uneasy, usually regarding your children's well-being or your capacity to care for them.
  2. Fatigue: A significant loss of energy, usually accompanied by feelings of fatigue.
  3. Difficulty Concentrating: Problems with concentration, decision-making, and memory might ruin your ability to do daily tasks. 
  4. Appetite Changes: Significant appetite changes might result in loss of appetite or overeating. 
  5. Feelings of Hopelessness: A chronic sense of hopelessness about the future or the belief that nothing will improve.
  6. Guilt and Worthlessness: Feeling guilty for not being a perfect mother or having a strong sense of worthlessness. 
  7. Physical Symptoms: Persistent physical symptoms, such as headaches or unexplained aches and pains, which do not respond to treatment.
  8. Changes in Sleep Patterns: Having trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or sleeping excessively. 
  9. Persistent Sadness: Feeling constantly sad or overwhelmed, especially when there is no obvious reason. 
  10. Irritation: Frequent irritation, frustration, or short temper, even in situations that normally do not affect you. 
  11. Loss of Interest: Losing interest in activities or hobbies that you used to enjoy or find rewarding. 
  12. Suicidal thoughts: Suicidal ideas or efforts. Get immediate assistance from a mental health professional if you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts

If you notice these signs in yourself or someone you know, it is important to seek support from a mental health professional as soon as possible. This helps to improve overall well-being and mental health.

6 Causes and Triggers of Stay-at-Home Mom Depression

Here, let us look at some of the important causes of stay-at-home mom syndrome. 

1. Hormone Fluctuation

Hormones can fluctuate a lot after pregnancy. When you're pregnant, certain hormones increase a lot in your body. After giving birth, these hormone levels drop suddenly. Mood swings you had during pregnancy might stop after birth, but new mood problems could start because of these quick changes.  

It is reported that about 10% of women will experience postpartum depression after childbirth, with certain studies indicating the rate could be as high as 1 in 7 women. While PPD is a danger for all new mothers, both working and stay-at-home, the isolation that some stay-at-home mothers may experience may make it more difficult for them to receive the necessary care.

2. Chronic Sleep Deprivation 

When you have kids, many things change, especially the constant lack of sleep, which can be surprising. You may prefer to sleep when the baby also sleeps, but what if the baby rarely sleeps? Not getting enough sleep regularly can lead to many problems and makes you more likely to feel depressed.

3. Feeling Lonely

Despite spending all day with their children, stay-at-home moms often feel isolated. They may not get much time to themselves or chances to talk with other adults. This lack of social interaction can lead to feelings of loneliness, which can contribute to depression.

4. Not Feeling Like Yourself

Moms who are always busy taking care of their children often don't have time for themselves or things they used to enjoy. Many moms also feel guilty when they do take time for themselves. When your life revolves mostly around your kids, and you don't have time for self-care, it can make you feel like you have lost who you are.

5. Becoming Financially Dependent

When women stop working, they may rely on others for money. This change can bring financial worries and make them feel like they depend on others or are not contributing enough to their family's finances. These feelings can lead to anxiety and sadness.

6. Stress 

Parenting can be incredibly stressful. From changing diapers to feeding, cleaning, laundry, and helping with homework, the daily tasks can feel overwhelming. These responsibilities create a lot of stress for parents, making each day busy and demanding. It is always hard to handle everything, which makes parenting even more stressful.

Impact of Stay-at-Home Mom Depression

A Stay-at-home mom's burnout can impact her family in many ways, whether her depression starts before, during, or after pregnancy. Stay-at-home moms may struggle to keep up with daily tasks like laundry or dishes, but things go beyond just those tasks.

During pregnancy, depressed women produce more stress hormones, which can harm the baby's growth and increase the risk of early labour. After the baby is born, different challenges arise. A mother's postpartum depression can affect how she cares for her baby. If she is distant or unfriendly, it can lead to her child feeling anxious.

Having a depressed mother can have long-term consequences for her children. In one way, it affects academic performance. Having a depressed mother can potentially lower a child's IQ and impair cognitive development until the age of 16. 

How Can Stay-at-Home Moms Manage Stress and Prevent Depression?

If you or someone you know is experiencing Stay-at-Home Moms' depression, then following the below tips will be helpful. 

1. Create Regular Mom Time Off

Being a stay-at-home mom often means working non-stop without any breaks, as if it is expected to be a full-time job with no time off. Even if you love being a parent, everyone needs a break from work, including moms. So make sure to have Mom's Time Off each day, even if it is just for a few minutes. 

This might involve going to the gym, running errands, or simply relaxing in a room with noise-cancelling headphones. This time is when there's a break from mom duties and the chance to enjoy some personal time.

2. Spend Quality Time With Your Kids

It might seem odd, but spending a lot of time with your children can actually help prevent stress. Building a strong connection with your kids can make you feel more refreshed. To keep it simple, focus on the parts of parenting that you naturally enjoy and find fulfilling. 

This could be going for walks, sharing meals, baking, colouring, reading, or learning together. What's important is to spend meaningful time with your kids outside of the usual daily routines to strengthen your bond and find more joy in parenting.

3. Connect With Other Adults

Spending all day with your kids can sometimes make you feel lonely and isolated. It can be hard to talk about this, especially when trying to meet high expectations and feeling guilty. While being alone can be refreshing, loneliness is usually tiring and upsetting. When feeling down, friendships can help you feel more connected and happy. 

Try reaching out to a friend and making a plan this week. It could be a phone call, a walk, dinner, or a playdate with your kids. If that feels overwhelming, start by going to the park and chatting with another adult for just a few minutes. If you are not sure how to start, keep it simple. Just be open, honest, generous, and kind. The most important thing is to be yourself.

4. Focus on What's Important To You

Take your time and figure out what really matters to you. Knowing your values can help guide you through your day. For instance, you might want to show your kids that you have a strong identity beyond being a parent, or you might prioritise always being there for them and making them the centre of your decisions. 

It is easy to compare yourself to others, but there's no right or wrong way to define your values. What is important is that when your choices reflect your true values, you will feel more confident, proud, and fulfilled. This can also help you handle challenges like depression and anxiety better.

Practising these tips is one of the effective ways stay-at-home moms can manage stress and prevent depression. However, it is always better to seek professional support to receive personalized guidance and treatment for your specific needs.

5. Seeking Professional Help

Seeking the assistance of licensed mental health professionals who specialise in helping people cope with stay-at-home mom depression and related challenges is important. If you are already experiencing signs of stay-at-home mom depression, don't hesitate to consult a licensed professional. Professional help can make a significant difference in managing and overcoming stay-at-home mom depression. 

Treatment options include medications like SSRIs, SNRIs, MAOIs, atypical antidepressants, and tricyclic antidepressants. Talking to a doctor or mental health professional can provide the necessary support and guidance.

Here are Depression self-assessment Questions - Ask before you decide “I’m Depressed”

Importance of Therapy and Counseling

Women experiencing significant stay-at-home mom depression symptoms should reach out to their healthcare provider or therapist to explore different ways to address depression. If you know a mother who needs help or if you're a mother struggling yourself, consider trying online therapy from the comfort of your home.

Many women hesitate to discuss stay-at-home mom depression, but if you're feeling sad or isolated, remember you are not alone. Encourage any struggling moms you know to seek professional support. Moms must prioritise their own well-being alongside their children's. Taking care of your mental and physical health is just as important as caring for your family.

Now, let's look at some of the therapy options to treat stay-at-home mom depression:

  1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
  2. Interpersonal Therapy
  3. Behavioral Activation Therapy
  4. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
  5. Problem-Solving Therapy
  6. Short-Term Psychodynamic Psychotherapy

These therapies can provide effective strategies for managing and overcoming depression.

Building a Support Network

Building a support system is an excellent way to get help when you need it the most. This can either be mental, emotional or a practical solution.  Having such a support network makes you strong, and it boosts your confidence. 

Now let us discuss some important tips to build a strong support system:

  • Your family is important for support, but developing strong relationships is key. Spend quality time together and communicate openly to ensure they can support you through challenges.
  • Friends provide valuable support and new perspectives. Choose supportive and trustworthy friends & family to build a strong network. Reconnect with old friends or colleagues who understand your journey.
  • Expand your network by connecting with neighbours and friends of friends. Attend local events to meet people who share your interests. Building connections within your community increases your support options.
  • Find support through social media and online communities personalised to your interests. Join groups where you can share experiences and find encouragement from like-minded individuals. Active participation can lead to meaningful connections and support.
  • Get involved in your local community to meet new people and form strong bonds. Join local sports teams, volunteer for causes, or attend community events. Active participation in your community can foster a sense of belonging and purpose, providing support during tough times.

Self-Care Practices for SAHM

If you are having stay-at-home depression, then do you know how to be a good mom when depressed? If not, then follow these tips. This self-care practice changes your life, and you will be a good mom to your child

1. Practice positive self-talk 

Practice positive self-talk to fight the critical and defeating thoughts that often come with depression. Positive self-talk isn't a cure for depression, but it can make you stronger and more hopeful. 

Start by breaking down negative thoughts. Figure out what they are, find reasons why they might not be true, and challenge them. Switch to a more positive way of thinking by focusing on what's funny and your strengths and accepting compliments. It's okay if you start thinking negatively again sometimes. Just notice those thoughts and try to think more positively instead. You may find that it is easier and more supportive to do this work with the help of a therapist.

2. Try New Hobby

Trying a new hobby can reignite your interest in life, even when things seem less enjoyable. Engaging your mind and body in something new can combat depression and bring moments of happiness. 

You can pick something you have always wanted to explore, like painting, rock climbing, or learning a language. Schedule a regular time each week for your new hobby to make it a habit. Start with small goals, like dedicating just one hour weekly, and gradually increase as you find joy and fulfilment in your new activity.

3. Get Moving

Getting active can be a great way to improve your mood, even though it might seem tough when you are dealing with depression. Research shows that physical activity is beneficial for self-care. Start by sitting outside for sunlight and fresh air, which can boost your energy. 

Take short walks to nearby places you like, or try enjoyable activities like swimming, roller skating, or walking with friends. Even walking around your home while listening to music can help lift your spirits. Remember, it's okay to start slowly and gradually increase your activity as you feel more comfortable.

Setting Realistic Expectations for SAHM

Raising young children can be really tough, but it is important to remember that this challenging phase won't last forever. Learn to accept that this time in life is temporary, and it is okay to have mixed feelings about motherhood, even when it is difficult. 

You can love your kids deeply and still find staying at home all day hard. Being a stay-at-home mom isn't always easy, and that is okay. It is important to talk about the tough parts and acknowledge how demanding it can be. 

It is also healthy to find ways to take care of yourself sometimes because you can't give to others if you are running on empty. If you are struggling with depression that is affecting your daily life, reach out to your healthcare provider immediately. And always remember, you are stronger and more capable than you realize.

What are the Long-Term Effects of Untreated Stay-at-Home Mom Depression?

Is your loved one is struggling with SAHMIf depression, then you need to treat it immediately. Untreated depression can have lasting impacts on a stay-at-home mom and her family.

1. Impact on Family

  • For the Mother

Depression can hinder her ability to care for and bond with children. It may also make it hard for mothers to focus on their own needs and maintain energy levels. 

  • For Children

Kids of depressed mothers may experience emotional and behavioural issues like sleep and eating disturbances, excessive crying, and delays in language skills. They may also struggle with self-control, cognitive development, and social interactions.

  • For Other Family Members

Depression can create emotional strain for those close to the mother, potentially affecting teenagers who may be more prone to conditions like major depression and anxiety.

2. Impact on Mental Health 

Stay-at-home mom depression can significantly reduce your quality of life, causing emotional and behavioural challenges that affect all aspects of your daily life. It may also trigger harmful behaviours such as suicidal thoughts and self-harm.

How Can Friends and Family Support a Stay-at-Home Mom with Depression?

Support is a vital part of assisting a SAHM in coping with depression. If you are a family member or a friend of SAHM now, then do you know how to help stay at home mom depression? If not, then here are some recommendations for you: 

  • Showing regular appreciation for what a stay-at-home mom does.
  • Doing small acts of kindness, such as bringing dinner home.
  • Giving Mom some time for herself by taking care of the kids.
  • Being concerned and understanding.
  • Educating oneself about living with depression.
  • Sharing childcare and household duties whenever possible.
  • Encouraging and supporting professional mental health care.

Long-Term Strategies for Maintaining Mental Health

Start your journey of taking care of yourself by setting short-term and long-term goals for self-care. Once you have decided on those goals, you can make plans to take care of your family, too. This might include helping everyone in your family connect emotionally and communicate well. 

Sometimes, you might feel bad about leaving your partner to take care of the kids so you can have some quiet time to relax after a busy day. But it's important to remember that taking care of yourself helps you be the best you can be for your family. As you keep practising self-care, try to change how you think about it. Think about how you want your children to think about their mental and physical health in the future.

Strategies for Maintaining Health

  • Finding the right balance between work and personal interests is crucial for a happy and healthy life. Many stay-at-home moms struggle with this balance today. However, there's a growing trend to prioritise time for family, hobbies, and relaxation. It is important not to overdo any one thing, though, because it can lead to burnout and dissatisfaction in the long run.
  • Eating a balanced diet keeps your mind sharp, boosts concentration, evens out mood swings and reduces tiredness. Choosing whole foods like vegetables, fruits, brown rice, eggs, and fish over processed foods can greatly benefit your health. Recent research highlights how gut health influences brain function, impacting overall well-being significantly.
  • Regular physical activity brings a variety of mental health benefits, helping to ease feelings of depression, anxiety, and other conditions. Whether it is going for a run or taking a walk around your neighbourhood, even just an hour of exercise can positively impact many aspects of your life. 

Balancing Motherhood and Personal Life

Are you a depressed mom? Wondering how to balance your life? Then here are some tips:

  • Embrace Your New Identity:

 Accept that motherhood changes everything, like your priorities, schedule, body, and emotions. Give yourself grace as you navigate this transformation and focus on becoming a positive role model for your child.

  • Use Nap Time Wisely: 

Instead of sleeping every time your baby does, use those moments to indulge in activities that rejuvenate you, like reading, meditating, or enjoying a treat. It is a precious opportunity to reconnect with yourself.

  • Connect with Other Adults: 

Combat the isolation of motherhood by making time for adult conversations with friends or your partner. Discuss topics beyond parenting to maintain a sense of connection and fulfilment outside of caring for your baby.

Inspirational Stay-at-Home Mom Depression Quotes

Here are the best stay-at-home mom depression quotes:

"Being a mother is discovering strengths you didn't know you had and dealing with fears you never knew existed." - Sherene Simon.
You’re always going to wonder if you’re doing things wrong, but that’s what it means to be a mom, to care so much about someone else that you just want to be as perfect as possible.” – Naya Rivera
“There is no role in life that is more essential than that of motherhood.” – Elder M. Russell Ballard

Conclusion

Now you might have a clear understanding about what stay-at-home mom depression is, its causes and side effects. If you or your loved one is struggling with this depression, then it is best to look for professional help. They will address the issues more efficiently.  

Feel free to share your thoughts about this topic below.

Citations 

  1. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/stay-at-home-mom-depression
  2. https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/stay-at-home-mom-depression#supporting-a-sahm
  3. https://www.healthcentral.com/womens-health/stay-at-home-mom-depression
  4. https://www.marriage.com/advice/mental-health/stay-at-home-mom-depression/
  5. https://www.talkspace.com/mental-health/conditions/articles/stay-at-home-mom-depression/
  6. https://calmerry.com/blog/self-care/4-ways-to-avoid-burnout-when-youre-a-busy-stay-at-home-mom/
  7. https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/stay-at-home-mom-depression#treatment
  8. https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/mental-health/how-to-build-a-strong-support-network/
  9. https://psychcentral.com/depression/self-care-for-depression#1.-Try-guided-imagery-
  10. https://www.theovercomingmom.com/conquer-stay-at-home-mom-depression/
  11. https://www.emmamcpherson.com/stay-at-home-mom-quotes-uplift-and-inspire/
  12. https://amybraunlcpc.com/blog/stay-at-home-mom-quotes
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